Meeting New People In The New Normal

Guest commentator: Sean Hand, Director, Business Development, KPMG US @KPMGUS

When I was in grade school, my teacher marked me absent even though I was in class.  After the school notified my parents of my absence, they quickly uncovered the clerical oversight and confirmed I was present that day.  No problem.

That night, my father still seemed bothered by this situation.  I didn’t understand why he was still upset.  After all, I wasn’t absent!  It was an innocent mistake.  Why dwell on it?

He said, “I’m not disappointed that you were marked absent; I’m disappointed it took an attendance list to prove you were in class.  Your presence in class should be felt every day, not recorded.  And your absence should be felt just as much.  Your teacher, your classmates, they should feel a difference in the room when you’re there or not there.”

I think about his words now more than ever.  As we reemerge into the world after a two-year hibernation, I think about the intentionality of our social interactions today.

Companies are gamifying their return-to-office initiatives, dangling carrots to lead us back to our 2019 stables a couple of days a week. 

Networking organizations are encouraging mask-less mingling in new swanky locations that popped up while you were making sourdough bread at home over the past two years. 

Now, people are once again stowing their tray tables and laptop devices in preparation for landing in different parts of the country to attend regional and national trainings. 

All these social gatherings make us feel “back to normal”, as they re-create the same networking and social interactions we know and love.  But wait… these “new normal” social interactions come with a new twist – intentionality.

Every gathering in 2022 has a renewed emphasis on two questions: “Is this necessary?  And is this impactful?”

It’s the intentionality of our social gathering in ’22 that reminds me of my father’s advice and the importance of having your presence felt.  Extroverts are back to telling small crowds animated stories about the weekend, but are they back to asking these crowd members about their career goals?

Introverts are back to planning every minute of their morning status meetings, but are they back to planning 45 minutes of conversation at a client lunch?

Networking success in our “new normal” will be defined not by the number of events you’ve attended or the number of business cards (is that still a thing?) you’ve collected on your desk.  Rather, your networking success will be measured by the level of impact you’ve made with the few new people you’ve met that week.

So on your next virtual call or in-person happy hour, remember – your presence should be felt, not recorded.  Plan and be present.  Approach meeting new people in the new normal with the same intentionality as the organizations who so excitedly pulled you back into the social world.